Do You Have Nuts?
Custody and support

I need to ask.. And i hope to get a reply

You say the only way a parent can win sole custody is to PROVE the other unfit? is this really so… i realllllly wanna know. Cuz just last month my husband LOST ALL CUSTODY on the basis that they cannot work out joint and that she *the mother does not deserve to be without custody.. How is this proving that we.. or my hubby is unfit? We have been going to court this last year.. probably about 12 times this year.. and she has actually come to about 6 or so.. not any good reasons for not coming to the others.. and we have gotten about 25% of the required visitation that we have in our order this past year alone. we had about a 6 month period we never seen or heard from him (son) Yet all her whining about possible abductions.. doesn’t trust him… etc.. (this is all she complains about, she repeats literally the same thing every time they are in front of the judge, the kicker is, the judge has heard and noted the fact that we have never and will never abduct him… etc. he basically doesn’t listen to her, told her that even if 1% of what she says there is true he would be surprised.

YET gives her sole custody? we have always paid support. Have never harassed her, or stalked her as she loves to say… This past Friday we were supposed to get visitation, she saw my hubby coming, she jumped in her car and left. but yet calls up Saturday and says we can have him… (this is very surprising since, it would be the second time since dec. 14th (court) that we would get him.. and… the first time in like 8 months that we will have gotten him on a weekend. Since last may, we have gotten him about 4 Tuesdays (4-7pm) and one week (this is because she stormed our house beating on the door, and trying to break our windows with a rock.. so we filed an order of protection against her. got it but the judge dismissed it when she came.. whining about how she shouldn’t be kept from her child. well what the HELL ABOUT US? she keeps us from him. doesn’t make sense.

To top that off, will she be able to provide your kid with calmness, financial independence and wellness? She has been on state assistance about 8 years (not that i mock that, its just that i believe in using it if you NEED IT… not living off it for however long you can) she has been found in fraud for applying and receiving state assistance under several aliases. not only that over the summer she was caught stealing the manager of her apartments electricity… then has gotten about 3 or 4 eviction notices this year alone… this time its gonna stick though. Not only that she has been arrested 2 times in a month. AND i also know that my step son’s pediatrician thinks she is emotionally abusing him.. though there is no concrete evidence at this time to prove anything. We have not found one person yet that likes her, she knows how to milk the system for all its worth.

so can someone please tell me how to stop this injustice? especially the fact of loosing all custody cuz SHE wont give visitation? it’d sure like to know. btw.. we don’t have lawyer cuz we just cannot afford it… (we still owe over 2000 to our last one from well over a year ago) and she LOST hers, cuz of the way she acts. Her lawyer told ours that he has told her you NEED to give visitation.. its the law… and she still hasn’t so he dumped her flat! Though we are trying to really do it this time, as much as we can without a lawyer.. (save money) to get all this that we have on her in concrete evidence. does anyone have any ideas where i could look at driving and criminal records (that are public records if you went to the court house) online or somewhere so i dont have to drive all over? thanks in advance

sorry for the long post.. this is only a glimpse of our story as it probably is with anyone elses. so if you have a question like “the other side of the story” or you feel you just don’t have enough information to answer one of my questions feel free to ask… I wanna know the answers. ill do what i can.


To vent or not to vent?

Dear Gentlemen,

I am only responding on how I perceive things. I responded in that manner because I felt that my integrity was being questioned.

To say, “hey buddy, that sounds horrible. Could you give me some more information and I’ll see what I can do for you”? You would find a more calmer approach from Fathers such as myself who have been through hell and back several times.

I am very open to anyone with advise, or a helping hand. We are living in a society that sees very little of that today.

To all, thank you for your response, as usual, you give information that is sensible.

I look forward to more postings from you.

To vent or not to vent? I sometimes wonder what the criteria is to this forum, if we can’t rant and have someone come in and say, hey, let me help you, calm down it will be ok, then we have a major problem here. I may seem to straight forward to some of you, but man, some of us are completely fed up.

Sorry for ranting on like this, but I thought we had a place to go when we needed to.